‘I wasn’t going to let the pain stop me from living’
Inspiration is a word that gets thrown around a lot in disability circles. It’s always well meaning, but it’s often condescending.
You hear it a lot during the Paralympics, for example. An athlete with disability is “inspiring” simply because they are competing. Every athlete, with or without disability, has to overcome obstacles to compete at the highest level so why do Paralympians get labelled as inspirational so much more than able-bodied Olympians?
That’s where the often unintended condescension comes in. Sometimes the label fits. Sometimes it’s not condescending, it’s simply appropriate and just. Sometimes a person does something that gives you reason to pause and reflect on your own life. And often that pause comes down to the adversity they’ve overcome.
Ryan, for example, is an inspiration to those who come into his orbit. He doesn’t see himself as particularly inspiring, and ironically that’s part of the reason he is.
Ryan, 48, has cerebral palsy, which gives him curvature of the spine and a twisted foot – he also has ADHD – but, no, that’s not what makes him inspirational.
Ryan inspires the people who get to know him because he refuses to let disability define him. He just gets on with it. He sees a problem and solves it. He knows he has challenges, but rather than let them overwhelm him, as some might, he chooses to meet them head on and does what he can to overcome them.
About 15 years ago, Ryan was putting on weight and his problem foot, coupled with his back, was struggling to hold him up. He was given two choices: get fit or get a wheelchair. That ultimatum changed the trajectory of Ryan’s life. From that moment on, Ryan threw himself into getting healthy. He joined a gym, got a personal program, and followed it to the letter.
Today, Ryan still goes to the gym three days a week for a workout. He also cycles and goes for extended walks. He says he hasn’t put on a kilo in all that time and no one is suggesting he consider getting a wheelchair anymore.
“Back then, I was told if I put on more weight I’d be like the Hunchback of Notre Dame,” Ryan says.
“But it wasn’t just that. I have a lot of back pain and that was just going to get worse. So basically, if I didn’t go the gym I wouldn’t be able to walk. “I wasn’t going to let the pain stop me from living. I’ve put a lot of muscle on my back and it’s helped me a lot too.”
Ryan’s attention to detail and determination to stay as fit and healthy as possible isn’t limited to the gym. He also taught himself how to cook so that he could eat healthy food.
“I do have junk food days,” he confesses, “but not very often. I try to be as healthy as I can.”
Ryan’s independence is important to him. But he also needs support to stay on top of things and this is where Melba comes in.
“I have someone from Melba come and visit me three days a week and just help me with things,” he says.
“I’ve been with Melba for about 20 years and without that support I wouldn’t be where I am today.”
Ryan is an active member of ARROW and gives semi-regular talks about The Melba Way to new employees.
“I just tell them my story and how Melba’s helped me,” he says. “And I like ARROW because it changes things. It makes things easier for people. We even won an award (the 2023 NDS Excellence in Service Quality award). That’s what I like about ARROW – it makes a difference.”
Melba’s David Glazebrook has known Ryan for longer than he can remember and when asked to describe Ryan he replies: “He’s just a ripping bloke. He doesn’t let things get in his way – he just gets on with it. He cares about others and, just as importantly, he cares about himself and looks after himself.”
And that’s Ryan’s message to others with cerebral palsy. “Try different things and find out what you can do,” he says. “If it hurts, try something else, or try a different strategy, but keep trying until you find it.”
