{"id":4059,"date":"2025-07-02T13:49:55","date_gmt":"2025-07-02T03:49:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.melbasupport.com.au\/?p=4059"},"modified":"2026-06-13T18:00:42","modified_gmt":"2026-06-13T08:00:42","slug":"olivias-strength-shines-in-her-struggle-to-be-seen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.melbasupport.com.au\/olivias-strength-shines-in-her-struggle-to-be-seen\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;No one should make you feel ashamed for who you are. That&#8217;s not OK&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4059\" class=\"elementor elementor-4059\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1a9a0175 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"1a9a0175\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-593c0ca3 e-con-full home-banner e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"593c0ca3\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3749b06f elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget-laptop__width-initial elementor-widget-tablet_extra__width-initial elementor-widget-tablet__width-initial elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3749b06f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h1 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">&#8220;No one should make you feel ashamed for who you are. That&#8217;s not OK&#8221;<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7f5f665c elementor-widget elementor-widget-post-info\" data-id=\"7f5f665c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"post-info.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"elementor-inline-items elementor-icon-list-items elementor-post-info\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-f88c87c elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"datePublished\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-date\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<time> 2 July 2025<\/time>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7018372c e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"7018372c\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-73c26204 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"73c26204\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-30b5787e link elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"30b5787e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>When Olivia* turned 30, she stopped waiting for her life to make sense and started making sense of her life instead. And that\u2019s when the penny dropped.<\/p>\n<p>It wasn\u2019t a dramatic revelation or a lightning-bolt moment \u2013 more like finally putting on a pair of glasses and realising the world had always been clearer than she thought. It was at this moment Olivia realised she identified as queer.<\/p>\n<p>Seven years later, Olivia is wrestling with a question that has occupied her thoughts for most of that time: how do you talk to those closest to you, particularly those who are religious and have spent the past 37 years \u201cprotecting\u201d you, that your inherent sexuality does not align with their values?<\/p>\n<p>How do you explain to people who still think you\u2019re not ready to be a mother that you dream of marriage, children and a love that doesn\u2019t fit the narrow boxes you feel have been built around your life?<\/p>\n<p>These are the conversations Olivia, who lives with disability, has had, but when it comes to her family, she doesn\u2019t feel heard \u2013 so she wants to try again. And with Pride Month upon us, she\u2019s running out of reasons to stay quiet.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<h3>When you feel shame, it\u2019s really hard to let go of it \u2026 but (being queer) is not something I should be ashamed of.<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>The path to self-acceptance hasn\u2019t been easy. Like many in the LGBTQIA+ community, Olivia has grappled with shame \u2013 a burden that kept her from embracing her identity for years.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen you feel shame, it\u2019s really hard to let go of it,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s like carrying a weight. Sometimes, I do feel ashamed of myself and that\u2019s tough. But (being queer) is not something I should be ashamed of.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This internal struggle was compounded by external pressures and the fear of judgment from those closest to her. \u201cIt\u2019s also hard when people try to make you feel ashamed, but if you\u2019re going through something like this, just know that it\u2019s not your fault,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo one should make you feel ashamed for who you are. That\u2019s not OK.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>While Olivia has found acceptance and support among her friends, her family remains a more complicated terrain to navigate. The contrast is stark and painful.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI feel very supported by my friends, but not so much by my family,\u201d she says. \u201cThey are very protective. I stayed most of my life hiding the fact that I\u2019m queer.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her friends see beyond her disability, embracing her dreams and aspirations. \u201cMy friends don\u2019t just see me as my disability. They understand that I want to have a family, have kids and have a job,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>But with her family, the dynamic is different. Despite being their daughter for 37 years, Olivia feels they struggle to see her as a complete person with her own desires and agency.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<h3>Because I have Down Syndrome, (my parents) couldn\u2019t really see me as someone who could be in a relationship.<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>For Olivia, being queer intersects with being a person with disability in ways that compound the challenges she faces. Her parents\u2019 protectiveness, while well-intentioned, has created barriers to their understanding of who she\u2019s become.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBecause I have Down Syndrome, they couldn\u2019t really see me as someone who could be in a relationship,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s harder for them to see me that way. (My parents) still think that I\u2019m not old enough to be a mum. They don\u2019t see that I want to have a family and have kids and have a job. Because I have a disability, they see (me having children) as a challenge.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This perception cuts deep, especially when Olivia sees different standards applied within her own family. She speaks proudly of her cousin Harry, who is married to a man named Richard \u2013 a relationship her family accepted.<\/p>\n<p>The implicit question hangs in the air: why is her love viewed differently?<\/p>\n<p>Despite the challenges, Olivia refuses to let others\u2019 perceptions diminish her dreams. She speaks with conviction about her hopes for the future.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, definitely! I want to have a family and kids \u2013 maybe two or three,\u201d she says. \u201cI also want to get married, but I\u2019m not quite ready for that step yet. I\u2019m not in a relationship, but when the time is right, I\u2019ll know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>For Olivia, sharing her story isn\u2019t just about personal catharsis \u2013 it\u2019s about reaching others who might be walking a similar path. Her advice carries the weight of lived experience.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFor younger people out there going through the same thing, I\u2019d say: let your parents and friends know. If they\u2019re supportive, they\u2019ll help you through it,\u201d she says. \u201cCome out if you can. I\u2019ve been thinking about that a lot lately \u2013 about getting everything out in the open. I\u2019m trying to be strong, but it\u2019s hard dealing with it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019s particularly mindful of young people facing rejection or shame from their families. \u201cIf your parents are struggling with it, or if people are hurting you, that\u2019s on them, not you,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<h3>I didn\u2019t choose to be this way and I\u2019m going to love who I love. I want my parents to understand who I am.<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>As Olivia prepares to have difficult conversations with her family, she holds on to hope that understanding will eventually come. Her message to her parents, when the time comes, will be simple but profound:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI guess I\u2019d say that I am who I am,\u201d she says. \u201cI didn\u2019t choose to be this way and I\u2019m going to love who I love. I want my parents to understand who I am. I hope they understand that it\u2019s not about whether I like boys or girls \u2013 it\u2019s just who I am now. I\u2019ve thought about it for years and I want to tell my parents so they can try and understand what I\u2019m going through. It\u2019s hard.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As Pride Month reminds us to celebrate authenticity and the courage to live openly, Olivia\u2019s journey continues. She\u2019s not just coming out \u2013 she\u2019s coming into her own, one conversation, one relationship and one day at a time. Her story is a reminder that love, in all its forms, deserves recognition, respect and celebration.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI am who I am,\u201d she says. \u201cWhen I get out of the bed, I feel like I\u2019m awesome and love who I am \u2026 so don\u2019t judge me for my disability!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>*<em><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW128890030 BCX8\">Olivia is a person Melba supports. Her name has been changed at her request to respect\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW128890030 BCX8\">her family\u2019s right to\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW128890030 BCX8\">privacy.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-46790817 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"46790817\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-15154bec e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"15154bec\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3eedf8bf elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3eedf8bf\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Share<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7c45b7de elementor-share-buttons--view-icon elementor-share-buttons--skin-flat elementor-share-buttons--shape-circle elementor-share-buttons--color-custom elementor-grid-0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-share-buttons\" data-id=\"7c45b7de\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"share-buttons.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid\" role=\"list\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\" role=\"listitem\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_facebook\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-label=\"Share on facebook\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fab-facebook\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M504 256C504 119 393 8 256 8S8 119 8 256c0 123.78 90.69 226.38 209.25 245V327.69h-63V256h63v-54.64c0-62.15 37-96.48 93.67-96.48 27.14 0 55.52 4.84 55.52 4.84v61h-31.28c-30.8 0-40.41 19.12-40.41 38.73V256h68.78l-11 71.69h-57.78V501C413.31 482.38 504 379.78 504 256z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\" role=\"listitem\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_linkedin\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-label=\"Share on linkedin\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fab-linkedin\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M416 32H31.9C14.3 32 0 46.5 0 64.3v383.4C0 465.5 14.3 480 31.9 480H416c17.6 0 32-14.5 32-32.3V64.3c0-17.8-14.4-32.3-32-32.3zM135.4 416H69V202.2h66.5V416zm-33.2-243c-21.3 0-38.5-17.3-38.5-38.5S80.9 96 102.2 96c21.2 0 38.5 17.3 38.5 38.5 0 21.3-17.2 38.5-38.5 38.5zm282.1 243h-66.4V312c0-24.8-.5-56.7-34.5-56.7-34.6 0-39.9 27-39.9 54.9V416h-66.4V202.2h63.7v29.2h.9c8.9-16.8 30.6-34.5 62.9-34.5 67.2 0 79.7 44.3 79.7 101.9V416z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\" role=\"listitem\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_email\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-label=\"Share on email\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fas-envelope\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M502.3 190.8c3.9-3.1 9.7-.2 9.7 4.7V400c0 26.5-21.5 48-48 48H48c-26.5 0-48-21.5-48-48V195.6c0-5 5.7-7.8 9.7-4.7 22.4 17.4 52.1 39.5 154.1 113.6 21.1 15.4 56.7 47.8 92.2 47.6 35.7.3 72-32.8 92.3-47.6 102-74.1 131.6-96.3 154-113.7zM256 320c23.2.4 56.6-29.2 73.4-41.4 132.7-96.3 142.8-104.7 173.4-128.7 5.8-4.5 9.2-11.5 9.2-18.9v-19c0-26.5-21.5-48-48-48H48C21.5 64 0 85.5 0 112v19c0 7.4 3.4 14.3 9.2 18.9 30.6 23.9 40.7 32.4 173.4 128.7 16.8 12.2 50.2 41.8 73.4 41.4z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At 30, Olivia* embraced her identity as a bisexual woman, a journey made more complex by her family&#8217;s lack of understanding. While her friends accept and support her, her family struggles to see her as an adult with agency, dreams, and the right to love. As we celebrate Pride Month, Olivia hopes her story will inspire others to live authentically and be seen for who they truly are.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":4103,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":true,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[46],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4059","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faces-of-melba-2"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>&quot;No one should make you feel ashamed for who you are. 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